Day 102: I am morally convinced

Identify your area of strongest moral convictions. Set your priorities according to your convictions.

To be a good person. A good man. That’s what everything boil down to. And in trying to be a good person, I must avoid becoming to self-centred. And that’s why I barely wrote a line yesterday.

First we drove for hours and hours. When we arrived, my wife’s family were there to greet us, and talk with us, and play, and look at the baby.

“I can’t talk to you, I have to write an inconsequential blogpost”? No.

Then a son in the house came with his new girl-friend, and she only spoke English and a few word Norwegian, and the others mainly spoke Serbo-Croatian.

“I can’t translate or even be here, I have to write a meaningless blogpost”? No.

This house is always full of laughter. This house is always full of sounds and people and stories and basketball and bragging and joking and food. This house is not a house for sitting quite still and looking at a screen. (Even watching TV in this house is an exercise in who can talk the most.) The hours flew by, the kids were fast asleep at last, more food, more ice-cream (imagine having an aunt who works at the ice-cream factory…) — and I didn’t write a word. Didn’t think a word. Stayed in the moment.

A good man? At least a better man than withdrawing to stare at a screen.

At last, a few minutes before midnight, I went to bed. Cold and warm, with a headache and general body ache, tired from not sleeping and exhausted from a long day, not feeling too good at all — and yet feeling good. You cannot avoid feeling good sometimes when you visit this house.

As I went to bed, I remembered this blog. I want to write one more day. Just to be able to brag about it.

So I found my telephone and quickly tried to find something to write about. Anything.

And then I realised they didn’t have wi-fi. Or, they do, but it’s not their’s, it’s their neighbour’s, and sometimes he turns it off, and apparently, this was one of those times.

I am abroad. Roaming just to write a blogspot without thoughts, without meaning, just to have jotted down some words today as well? No.

The room was dark, my head was heavy, I yawned and heard the others were having their last drink downstairs. Ah, just get it over with.

So I wrote: Nothing, long day, nothing done, etc. Just to have written something. The worst, shortest, most meaningless of all the meaningless blogposts I have written so far. But I wrote.

I could have said hi to everyone and then spent an hour or two writing a better blogpost. I could have done the wrong thing to write about how I should be doing the right thing. But that doesn’t seem right, does it?

Family over blog. I am morally convinced that that is one way of being a better man.