Seed some flowering plants early in the spring and tender them throughout the summer.
I come from a long line of flower killers. My parents have never been interested in flowers: I can remember a few small green shrubs in the living-room, but nothing fancy, and nothing colourful. My grandparents, my farther’s parents, didn’t have many plants either, as far as I can remember. There were trees in the garden, and that was enough.
As for me, I kill everything I water. As a student I once bought a plant which was supposed to be tougher and more durable than almost any other plant you could buy. It was close to invincible, they told me: neither heat nor cold nor too much water nor too little could damage it.
It took me two weeks. I noticed when the water started dripping on to the floor. Apparently, you really can kill a plant by drowning it.
One learns something new every day.
It didn’t help me much, though. I like having plants in my home, but for some reason, they don’t seem to like being there. No plant has ever survived more than a few months at our place (yes, my wife is on par with me here, believe it or not): we water too much or too little, we get too much sun or too little, or one of us manages to pour something else than water, and slightly less benign, into the pot.
My fingers are the opposite of green: they are a bluish pink. And my mind has no problem with that: there are few things that I care less about than gardening. I am a darwinist gardener, I subcribe to the designs of natural selection.
But I promised to do these tasks, one by one. And I don’t mind having a flower, it’s just that there is enough hassle with three kids already. And…
OK, OK, I’ll do it, fine. I’ll buy some seeds and a pot and some earth (unless we have it, i have to ask my wife) tomorrow. Or at least during the weekend. And I’ll plant them and watch the flowers grow up and die before their time.
I will kill a flower again. Hopefully, it will teach me a lesson about life.
It’s short, nasty and drowning your sorrows won’t do you any good.